We depend on our friends for a variety of things, and one of those things is unquestionably provide emotional support when times are tough. Teenagers dealing with mental health issues would naturally turn to their peers to vent, unload, and ask for support.
But it might be challenging to distinguish between a friend’s moodiness and other symptoms of depression or anxiety. It might be challenging to determine whether to simply listen, when to speak, and what to say. Determining when to bring it up with an adult and how to do so without betraying your friend’s trust are particularly difficult decisions.
Negative feelings, when they persist a long time or are overwhelming, are nothing to be dismissed because depression and bipolar illness afflict roughly 15% of teenagers, and one in three teenagers will satisfy the criteria for an anxiety condition by the time they are 18.
How to be a good friend to someone who is struggling
Support her assertions. People want to feel understood, particularly when they are dealing with challenging feelings or situations that could make them feel incredibly alone. You are under no need to pretend to feel the same as your friend. Saying, “That sounds challenging,” while listening without passing judgment, can be helpful. Validation conveys to the other person that their feelings are reasonable in light of the circumstances. Validating your friend indicates that this is not a “overreaction” or a “underreaction,” even if you have never experienced that precise circumstance or felt an emotion quite as strongly. It is how they feel, and that is totally acceptable.
How can you assist? It demonstrates your concern and lessens some of the uncertainty. It may surprise you to hear what he has to say. If he is unable to provide an immediate response, it can inspire him to begin making plans ahead of time.
Be sympathetic to her constraints. Don’t count on your friend to go out with you every time you invite her, for instance, if she is depressed. But keep asking and make sure she knows how much you appreciate her business.
Don’t blab. People frequently find it very difficult to talk openly about their struggles with mental illness. Respect a friend’s trust by not disclosing more information than he would like to if he confides in you. However, be aware that it is acceptable to ask an adult for assistance if necessary.
Alter the topic. While it’s vital to listen, it can also be helpful to offer a pleasant diversion. You don’t have to talk about your friend’s mental health in every conversation. She might feel better if you talked about what’s going on in your lives, discussed something you both find interesting, or took a break and did yoga or a stroll together.
What you don’t need to do:
- Always be accessible
- Put your safety in jeopardy to protect your pal
- If everything is going well for you, feel guilty.
- Continue to be in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling for you.
Keep in mind that you are never solely accountable for the mental health of another person. It’s possible that you feel responsible and that your friend is even trying to make you believe that you are the only one who can relate to and assist the situation. The best thing you can do as a friend occasionally is to take a step back so that your buddy may start receiving support from one of the specialists who have been educated in helping persons with mental health difficulties.
You probably come into contact with persons who have a mental illness in your family or in your daily life because millions of people in the United States live with a mental health issue. However, if you’re unclear of how to approach someone who could be having a hard time, these suggestions might be useful.
Suggestions on how you may approach someone living with a mental health condition:
- Talk to them in a setting that is comfortable, where interruptions are unlikely and where distractions are probably at a minimum.
- Gently introduce yourself to the discourse. It’s acceptable if the person isn’t in the right frame of mind to talk. A simple hello and act of compassion can go a long way. Less is sometimes better.
- Make sure you communicate with ease and composure.
- Be direct in your communication and stick to a single subject at a time.
- Reflective listening techniques, such as saying things like “I hear you’re having a horrible day today,” can help you to be polite, caring, and understanding of their feelings. Yes, some days are undoubtedly harder than others. I recognize.”
- Use ‘I’ statements in place of ‘you’ statements to avoid talking down to the other person.
- Make eye contact, listen intently, and respond in a compassionate manner.
- Ask them the right questions and refrain from being nosy.
- Give them a chance to speak and be vulnerable, but don’t press.
- Share some basic knowledge to promote simple conversation, such as observations about the environment, the neighborhood, or something else.
- By expressing your emotions and seeking out common ground, you can lessen any defensiveness.
- Speak to them at a volume that reflects their age and stage of development. Remember that a person’s IQ has nothing to do with their mental health.
- Being angered or perplexed by your talk with someone can be dangerous.
- Respect and understanding should be shown for how they interpret and report their symptoms.
- Be sincere when expressing your worry.
- Encourage the person, pray for them, and express your hope in their recovery.
Things to Avoid Saying:
- Just think about praying.
- You simply need to alter your attitude.
- Stop dwelling on the bad; just get on with living.
- Everyone experiences that at times.
- You share my (or whoever’s) disease.
- Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then.
Things to Avoid Doing:
- Criticizing, accusing, or yelling at them.
- Talking excessively, too quickly, or too loudly.
- Pauses and sighs are acceptable.
- Displaying any hostility in their direction.
- Making assumptions about them or their circumstances.
- Making jokes about their illness or being sarcastic.
- Speaking in a patronizing or condescending manner.